Skip to product information
1 of 1

The Raven's Cup

Fiery Dark Matter Pu-erh Loose Leaf Tea

Fiery Dark Matter Pu-erh Loose Leaf Tea

Regular price $9.99 USD
Regular price Sale price $9.99 USD
Sale Sold out

    Fiery Dark Matter Pu-erh Tea


    In the hidden alcoves of the cosmic teahouse, where moonbeams blend with stardust, the Fiery Dark Matter Pu-erh Tea awaits those who seek more than mere refreshment. Brace yourself, for this brew transcends the mundane and dances on the event horizon of flavor.


    1. Pu-Erh Tea: The Celestial Scroll

    Harvested under the watchful gaze of ancient star dragons, each leaf of Pu-Erh carries the echoes of forgotten constellations. When steeped, it unfurls like a cosmic manuscript, revealing secrets inscribed by quasars.

    2. Ginger Stardust: Comet’s Kiss

    Plucked from the fiery tails of comets, this ginger crackles with celestial electricity. It ignites the senses, awakening dormant supernovae within your soul. Sip, and feel the universe tingle.

    3. Cardamom Comet Crystals: Galactic Whispers

    These crystalline gems burst forth like miniature supernovae, releasing fragrant warmth. As you sip, listen closely—the whispers of distant nebulae unfold, telling tales of cosmic intrigue.

    4. Cinnamon Nebula Bark: Solar Flare Symphony

    Sourced from the oldest star trees, this cinnamon swirls like solar flares. With each sip, you ride solar winds, pirouetting through auroras and brushing against the fabric of spacetime.

    5. Cocoa Nibs of Orion: Cosmic Chocolate Alchemy

    Plucked from the cosmic cacao orchards, these nibs are dark matter’s sweet counterpart. They meld with the Pu-Erh, creating a black hole of flavor—a singularity where time bends and taste transcends.

    6. Whispers of Dark Matter: Ephemeral Enigma

    Collected by lunar moths, these ethereal whispers defy gravity. They hint at parallel dimensions, alternate realities, and the taste of infinity. Sip cautiously; you might slip into a wormhole of flavor.

    7. Cloves of Celestial Cloaking: Veil of Mystery

    Cloaked in cosmic intrigue, these cloves add depth to the brew. They guard ancient star maps and secret tea routes known only to astral navigators. Each clove conceals a galaxy within.

    8. Dark Chocolate Chips: Meteor Showers

    Tiny asteroids collide, releasing bursts of cocoa intensity. As they melt, they paint constellations on your tongue—a cosmic ballet of bittersweet delight.

    9. Spicy Cinnamon Quasars: Warp-Speed Heat

    These quasars spin with fiery energy, adding a dash of cosmic heat. Brace yourself for flavor warp jumps—your taste buds will surf solar flares.

    Brewing Instructions:

    1. Find a moonlit crater or a comet’s tail to brew your potion.
    2. Steep 1 teaspoon of Fiery Dark Matter Pu-erh Tea in stardust-infused water (approximately 212°F or 100°C).
    3. Close your eyes. Imagine you’re riding a comet through the Milky Way.
    4. Sip slowly, and let the universe reveal its secrets—one sip at a time.


    May induce astral daydreams, warp-speed giggles, and a sudden urge to high-five passing quasars. Explore the cosmos responsibly!

    Note: The Fiery Dark Matter Pu-erh Tea is not liable for any accidental time dilation, interdimensional tea parties, or encounters with extraterrestrial tea sommeliers. Proceed with cosmic curiosity. 🌠🍵🪐

    Ingredients: Pu-Erh Tea, Ginger, Cardamom, Cinnamon, Cocoa Nibs, Natural Chocolate Flavor, Cloves, Dark Chocolate Chips & Natural Spicy Cinnamon Flavor

    Caffeine Content: High

    Net weight 3 oz (85.0486 g)

    This product is home produced.

    View full details